This is by far the most intense obsession to balance out. It’s that thin line between living your dreams and taking care of your family. Now this is not an easy thing to overcome, but it can be done if you find a way to balance it. I am not the one to say I have figured it out just yet. I am just the person who is living and learning as I go.
Never in a million years did I see me with a family. I have always been deep into my music career. The only thing on my mind was building up my fan base and turning my music into a brand. So I would take a risk with money, go out to the most dangerous clubs just to promote my music. I could care less about how I lived. Long as I had a roof over my head, and place to wash and eat. I would be cool with just about any low budget housing I could find in my price range. I would use my surroundings as motivation to power my dreams of being a rap artist.
My surroundings also were not a great choice. Allowing myself to live like that put me around drugs dealing, jack boys, and just about anything else you could find in the South Carolina slums. The good thing that came from this I learned a lot of street mentality. The crazy thing was I never got cough up into that lifestyle. I had more content to add to my music. I felt it gave me a better chance to push my music even greater. I did it for my career. Nothing else stood in my way for going for my dreams. I knew it could be a chance I could have died, got hurt, or even becoming that street mentality that I saw. Then here comes that women into your life that change your outlook on everything.
What I have fear but never thought it would happen. They were robbing me at gunpoint for some drugs that I never sold. Just because where I live I was marked for some street thugs. The female I was seeing at this time really love me. I never knew she had that much love for me. She wanted me out of that type of living and wanted to show me there is more to live for. We became really close after that, and a couple of years later now I have a family.
My music career slows down very rapidly. It was no more going out to perform. No more going out to promote. No more hanging out late or being in the club scene. No more taking a risk to spend money on my career. I have gone from microphones, studios, songwriting, to changing dampers, providing for my family, and spinning time with my kids. I slowly record music from time to time. My kids see my old stuff and they ask why I don’t rap anymore? The fire is still there to do it. The goal is still the same, but the content of the goal has changed.
This is where I think I will find my balance. My music career is not base upon me getting a record deal anymore. When I became a family man I took time to sit back from music and learn about the business. I learn a lot from my time away from music. My wife has not given up on my music, my kids are my biggest fans, and I still have a strong fan base. So I ask myself can it be done? A music career mixes in with family life. Yes. No longer will I chase the dream of being an artist with a deal, but now it’s about being a music producer with a brand. Hip-Hop music is just apart of the brand I would like to build. The brand that I’m building now could be for my family in the future. I made my career fit the needs of my family and not just for me anymore. That’s the balance that should be the winning ticket. Use your family for your inspiration, motivation, and the fuel to power your career.